If you go looking for it, it doesn't seem to take much to see conflict and disagreement and polarisation aplenty in our world. This is nothing new, unfortunately, but it is something I have been thinking about quite a bit recently. Let me just set expectations at the top: I don't think that I have found any big answers to these big challenges, unfortunately.
I do wonder if starting small might be a good idea though.
And that got me to pondering whether we are missing an opportunity to use our workplaces to find common ground, encourage diversity, drive innovation, and promote harmony - things that maybe don't usually come easily, and aren't necessarily what we easily associate with the modern workplace.
Harmony is hard
In this century at least, businesses around the world have started to recognise the value of leveraging diversity. There is still plenty of work to do, for sure, but it is pretty hard to ignore the value of bringing different perspectives to the table: it helps avoid the dreaded 'groupthink' and can really unlock innovation in a business. (Plus it's the right thing to do.)
Now I think workplaces can truly get access to the value of diversity, but we don't make it easy for ourselves with our language and the expectations that sets.
For example, I'm pretty sure everyone has heard the phrase "bring your whole self to work" - a common refrain that comes from a place of good intention. But English is an imprecise language at best, and so that phrase takes on very different meanings whether we mean the verb or the noun of "work".
Let's go with the verb first: "bring your whole self to [the way you] work" would mean that we want everyone to bring all of their experience, their abilities, their unique perspectives to the way in which they work. If you are more introverted or more extroverted, or more analytical or more creative - whatever you are, bring that! And then it is on the leadership of a company to deliberately and continually create the environment, culture and processes that actually enable people of all backgrounds and walks of life to be able to come together and work (verb) together.
But the noun version: "bring your whole self to [your place of] work" - I think that this is a far more problematic statement. Why? Well, to be honest, my "whole self" also includes the parts of me that like to listen to music through speakers, or to watch basketball games and cheer loudly for my team, or to wear jandals, or any number of other things which are fine on my own time and on my weekends but which probably aren't things that are overly conducive to a harmonious, professional work environment.
Some things just don't help us work at work.
More than that, when those differences extend to people expressing opinions on polarising or complex issues, it is really difficult to do so without introducing or inflaming conflict in a workplace if you don't have a whole lot of preparation, planning, empathy, trust and openness. Plus, I would argue, high-bandwidth communication channels (i.e., in person, rather than via text or emoji). To do so without all of that really can put people offside, foster division, hurt them and make matters a lot worse - and "I was just bringing my whole self to work" just isn't an excuse we should be using as some sort of workplace substitute for "no offence, but…"
Yet, I think some people misinterpret "bring your whole self to work" as an active call - a stated expectation that we all should bring all of that into the workplace because…diversity?
I would contend that we can actually get all the value of innovation just by focusing on how we work (verb) alongside people who are different to us and how we can learn from each other without trying to make work (noun) the place where we hash out all our personal - as opposed to work-related (compound adjective) - disagreements.
In and around our work
By definition, each of us is unique. Which means we are different from each other - sometimes in subtle ways, sometimes in substantial ways. So, there is a good chance that I don't have a lot in common with the person sitting next to me at work.
But I also definitely do at least have something in common with the person I am sitting next to at work: we are working for the same company. A company vision, strategy, objectives, goals, customers, shareholders, a physical space, tools and technology - the list goes on. By deliberately and conscious focusing on these things as points of unity, we can emphasise our common purpose in our work no matter how different we are. Then we can turn our minds to how we work better together.
A simple way to start, in my opinion, is to be considerate. I have been privileged to work for some amazing organisations leading some incredible people. To take just one example of diversity, some of those people would definitely self-identify as extremely introverted, and others the exact opposite. That has posed some interesting leadership challenges when it came to building a sense of team. Do you focus on events that get people "out of their shell" and engaging with each other? Or on more reflective exercises that require thought and consideration?
I found myself trying to blend both in whenever possible, with a goal of trying to create balance and opportunity for people of all energy levels to be comfortable to participate. I didn't get it right 100% of the time; I don't know if it is possible to do so. But I definitely tried, and continued to try, to get those seemingly opposing ways of operating into balance.
If you're interested in a practical example: when it comes to communicating something quite important and/or detailed via email, I try to provide a TL;DR (too long; didn't read) summary at the top of the email with just the key bullets summarising the detail. Then, below that under a heading of "More detail", I'll provide more context and explanation for those who would like it. I also like to include an invitation to catch up with me in person if people want to discuss things face-to-face, and I will put a note encouraging feedback in writing for those who felt more comfortable taking a few days to consider things before responding.
Far from perfect, but it is an example of a tactic I have found reasonably successful in getting messages received and understood by different types of people. It is something that required deliberate thought on my part, though, and not something that just happened by chance. Working with different types of people happened automatically. Working well with them required more thought.
Opportunity abounds!
The word 'company' is closely related to the word 'companion' - having someone alongside you, walking with you, sharing the journey. Take another look at that person beside you with that word in mind. Work is an opportunity to meet companions.
So, when you encounter genuine conflict at work - particularly when emotions are running high, and people are offended or hurt - can I suggest it is a good idea to pause and think about your colleagues as companions first? And to also be a bit mindful of the tangle that we have got ourselves into with some of our language, the expectations that language has set, and the subsequent behaviours that that language may have inadvertently encouraged.
In our laudable quest to embrace diversity in the workplace, perhaps we haven't put the right guardrails in place to help that diversity be embraced in a constructive and peaceful way, or to help manage a healthy tension of constructively working with people who are different from each other.
Fixing that situation requires some deliberate thought and action, well before the (inevitable) conflict itself becomes explosive, unmanageable and a threat to the very benefits of diversity we are all seeking.
Variety is the spice of life, as the old saying goes. But that does mean things can get a bit spicy as we live and work together! Finding ways to understand and respect each other as we learn to embrace diversity has to be something worth pursuing.
Maybe it starts with focusing on a verb, rather than a noun?